Agony Aunt

Fractious Friendships

By Mel and Ma. 21 Apr 2016

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Dear Mel & Ma,

Lately, it’s been really hard within my friendship group. It’s just been one fight after another and it’s stupid because the majority of them are pointless. The dilemma for me is that I never know which side to take. It’s really difficult when your best friends put you in situation where you have to choose which one to side with, and it’s unfair on me. What should I do?

Aching Conscience

Aching Conscience,

As someone older, I can offer you the biggest linguistic hug on behalf of everyone, because we all know exactly how you feel. All teenage friendship groups suffer prolonged periods of arguing and irrelevant disputes. One thing I would say would be when they happen, take a step back and peer into the situation from a different perspective than usual. Ask yourself whether what your friends are arguing about will matter in five years? In one year? In a month? Next week? If the answer is no, then they will all realise that this dispute in which they find themselves is completely unnecessary and if they don’t, arguably, they’re not your best friends. You should never have to choose, and if they can’t accept that, hold out for people that will.

All my love, Mel x